Friendship

Friendship has always been a tricky thing for me. I’m a kind of private person, an analyzer and critical thinker. Because I’m a thinker, I would find myself in conversations discouraged because I was still thinking on something that was now two topics past and my input no longer mattered (crazy what that’s been a thing with me but… it is). So I’ve had a hard time finding friends I’m comfortable around to truly just be me. To put up with my random thoughts. People that don’t care about my big toe that was cut off in a bicycle accident when I was three. People who don’t care about my not so great style choices sometimes haha or look down upon me because I’m not where they are in life. I’ve craved genuine connection…genuine friendship, knowing that there are people that have my back. Friendships were we can love, appreciate, support, and cheer on each other in whatever stage of life we’re in.

This has become even more important to me living a new place and being so far from my hometown and my family. Call me weird, but I have a ton of people I know and hang out with, but the number of true friends I have, I can count on one hand. I used to really be hard on myself for it, like it was a bad thing. Trying to force myself to ‘make friends’ and ‘open up’ which feels SO awkward and like a painful tooth extraction. Like it was almost like dating, but for friends in a way? Which…is really just ugh. Don’t get me wrong I can converse with and have fun around just about anyone because I really care about people, but I always wondered why it seemed so off whenever I tried to make the genuine connections I desired.

What I’m finding out, is that just like anything, the real deal friendships…the I’m here for you…I see you…you matter…your vision you’ve only told a few is important and safe with me…the raw…the real…the vulnerable…I’ll tell you like it is because it what you need to hear friendships…those real deal friendships don’t come from me seeking it out and forcing it to happen. Just like God brought me to Kirby, God is the one who’s brought me into some of the greatest, most genuine, incredible friendships I’ve ever experienced.

It’s just like God to usher me right to some people that I instantly knew were just about the coolest people I’ve ever met. They welcomed me like I’ve never been welcomed. I feel like they care about me regardless of my insecurities and visa versa. No matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other, we pick right back up and have a great time just hanging out. It literally brings me to tears writing this, because I just feel overwhelmingly lucky to know people like them. Grateful doesn’t seem to cover it. I’m so so appreciative.

Life is plain hard sometimes, but having close friends to walk through life with you makes life so much more rich and full. Maybe you’re like I was and you’ve got a lot of friends but maybe not genuine ones. Maybe you’ve made… ‘what’s wrong with me, why can’t I seem to find good friends’ a forefront in your mind. Maybe you’re discouraged and frustrated and have decided you can do without. Just know that you are worthy of true friendship. You are. You are not meant to do life alone. There is nothing wrong with you. True friends are worth waiting for. You just have to ask. Be patient, trust, and allow God to bring you into those relationships. You won’t regret it. I promise.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.‘ – Matthew 7:7-8

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